Progress Report 7–15–20

On a journey of learning to trust myself and my intuitions again

For the past year, I’ve been ignoring my intuitions and going with what people have been telling me I should feel. I’ve been spending most of my days second-guessing myself and what I think/desire/believe/everything. This lack of trust has also led to a deprioritization of everything, which means I’m constantly distracted by everything and anything. A lostness that fuels more lostness.

The other day, it felt refreshing to say no to something. I’m relishing in the no at the moment, the feeling of being so clear about what it is I do not want. I do not have that feeling too much these days but when I do, it feels as refreshing as a yes (which is even more rare).

Life is short. I can’t ride all the ships. There will be ghost ships for every decision that is made. Trying to find peace with this, and continue on the journey with hope.

That being said, I know there that there is a connection between intuition and values that’s important. Knowing one’s values can help discern between true-to-yourself intuition and intuition-derived-from-fear/trauma. As I’m also on a journey of finding my footing again, I’ve been asking myself what are my values? What am I keeping with me moving forward, and what am I choosing to actively leave behind?

Vulnerable and broken, we press on (my heart and I).