A few years ago samchoon gave halmoni and harabuhji a digital photo frame as a Christmas gift. A few months later, halmoni showed up with a box filled with hundreds of pictures and asked me to scan them for their new frame. As a recent grad with lots of free time, I happily agreed to do it. It took me days to scan the whole box. The photos chronicled their life over a fifty year time period. That week, I felt like I got to know halmoni and harabuhji in a way I didn’t before. They were so stylish! So cool! I even got to know my dad and samchoons in a new way (the 80’s outfits, man). Really great memories were captured in these photos and it was clear they lived a full and vibrant life with lots of friends and family.
To prepare for harabuhji’s 80th birthday celebration, my dad handed me the hard drive containing the photos I had scanned plus more, including harabuhji and halmoni’s recent trip to Europe. The photos totaled to almost 3,000. He tasked me with the job of creating a slideshow for the party and a playlist to accompany it. Harabuhji later pulled me aside to request that I delete the photos that didn’t have him and halmoni in it to narrow down the pile.
I went home and uploaded the photos, sorting through the lot to delete the ones without harabuhji in it. Surprisingly, that comprised the majority of the photos — most were actually of halmoni, or halmoni and her sister (the three of them frequently traveled together), or halmoni and their friends. There were a few photos of harabuhji by himself, but most of the ones with him in it had halmoni in there, too.
At halfway through, I realized something. Although harabuhji wasn’t in most of the photos, he had actually been there in every photo. He had been the one who had taken the photo.
I’m very thankful for these photos. I’m very thankful for harabuhji and our family. It has been the biggest blessing of my life to have grown up with harabuhji and halmoni. Life with them is always an adventure. Growing up in the backseat of the RV for the long trips to national parks and Seattle, or spending summers at the ranch, sometimes it was just my cousins and Ben with halmoni and harabuhji to take care of us. They were fun and let us have our freedom without our parents, but we always knew that we were protected and cared for, and that we definitely wouldn’t go hungry.
The most impactful lessons of life are not told to us but revealed to us by observing the quiet lives of those closest to us.
From harabuhji, I have learned that life can be both fun and responsible. He taught each of us kids how to drive the motorcycle by the time we could run. He would drive crazy in the van to get us excited and also incite some electrifying fear in us, but we always knew we were in good hands, never in any real danger. I always felt protected with harabuhji, of the resoluteness in which he would take care of a problem. Whether it was a snake, a coyote or a mountain lion, or a flipped over motorcycle, he wouldn’t flinch but grab his gun or toolbox and take care of it with common sense and precision. Harabuhji has the strongest common sense out of everyone I know. There’s nothing he can’t fix, or build.
There was a springtime at the ranch when one of the rabbits gave birth to a litter of bunnies. I desperately wanted to keep one of them to take home and asked harabuhji if I could. He said to call my dad and ask. I did and my parents surprisingly said yes. Harabuhji got to work and made a house for my bunny (I named him Easter). It was an amazing wooden house with mesh wire walls and a small arch entry and triangular paneled roof. I’ll always be grateful for that special gift.
At the ranch, there would be a routine when we would stay over. Halmoni would make lunch and dinner for us, and harabuhji would be the one to make us breakfast. Harabuhji makes great, fluffy french toast. Thank you harabuhji for showing me the natural joy and ageless laughter that can come from being in partnership with another person (my halmoni), for constantly learning and trying new things, for putting in the work always, and for allowing us to be our loud, weird, silly and unpredictable selves.
There is a lot of love in our family but the truth is that love can take a lot of effort. Harabuhji has put in a lot of quiet effort that has created a family and a trove of precious memories that I treasure deeply in my heart.
Happy birthday harabuhji, we love you.
Korean translation (courtesy of Chris Jinki):
몇 년 전, 크리스마스 때 삼촌이 할머니와 할아버지께 디지털 사진 액자를 선물로 드린 적이 있습니다. 이 액자에 사진 파일을 넣기 위해 할머니께서는 제게 그동안 옛날부터 가지고 계신 사진들을 몇백 장을 주시며, 스캔을 해 달라고 부탁 하셨습니다. 스캔을 하면서 보니 할머니와 할아버지께서는 참 재미있고 알차게 삶을 사셨구나 하고 느꼈습니다. 오늘 보여지는 사진이 다 가 아니에요. 사실 더 많은 사진이 있었지만, 할머니와 할아버지가 빠진 사진은 빼고 해달라고 할아버지가 부탁하셨습니다. 그런데 사진을 쭉 보니까, 할머니나 이모 할머니가 있는 사진은 많았는데, 할아버지가 있는 사진은 많이 없었어요. 왜 할아버지는 사진에 많이 안 나오시나 했는데, 문득 생각해보니 할머니가 나오는 사진을 찍은 분이 할아버지 셨어요. 사진 안에는 안나오셨지만, 할아버지는 사진 한장 한장과 함께 하셨던 것이었습니다. 바로 이게 우리 할아버지입니다. 항상 할아버지는 말없이 저희를 잘 챙기세요.
또 할아버지는 모험심이 강하세요. 할아버지와 할머니는 항상 저희를 RV에 태우시고 미국 national park와 농장으로 많이 놀러갔습니다. 저희 부모님보다 더 재미있어요. 그리고 절대 배고플 일이 없어요. 할아버지를 통해, 저는 인생을 어떻게 즐기고, 또 책임을 지는 지 배웠습니다. 제가 어렸을 때 어떻게 motorcycle를 타는지도 알려 주셨고, 또 농장에서 뱀이나 coyote, 또 mountain lion이 나올때 저희를 항상 지켜주셨습니다. 무슨 일이 생기든, 당황하지 않고 침착하게 상황을 해결하셨습니다. 또, 뭐가 고장날 때마다 다 고쳐주셨습니다.
제가 지금까지 자라오면서, 제 곁에 할아버지가 계신다는 것이 제게는 정말 큰 축복 입니다. 저는 가족한테 사랑을 많이 받으면서 자랐습니다. 그런데 가족을 사랑하는 것에는 많은 노력이 필요합니다. 그리고 할아버지가 그 것을 직접 보여주셨습니다. 할아버지 때문에 우리 가족이 있을 수 있고, 소중한 추억들을 만들수 있어요. 할아버지, 생신 축하드려요! 사랑해요!
