We slow danced on the high dive
Neatly placed one foot after the other
your foot after mine, after yours, after mine
So watchful, we didn’t fall in.
Spent too long wondering whether to jump straight in — like a pin —
Or dive head first, arms out —
a full abandon into the ocean’s embrace.
I wanted to see that you were excited to take the leap, not waiting for me to risk the fall first. I’ve fallen into shallow pools before, mistaken for the sea
And I love the sea.
It was windy. We held each other close. It was a dance, not a walk, to a quiet song I could hear, even through the inclement weather.
I dreamed of the jump, again and again.
The fear of the fall, alone. Again.
Maybe if we had closed our eyes, we would have fallen off the high dive. Stopped the overthinking and let it happen. Figured out how to swim the waves later.
Maybe if one of us had been less careful, we could have cared more,
about other things,
or for the other.
Maybe it was the ocean we missed out on, in the end.
Maybe it wasn’t only the ocean we missed out on, in the end.
Written on 1.10.22
